Two posts in one day? Hogwash.
This stems from a conversation eyelid and I were having with Isaac.
Lacking reproductive capability, a television is clearly neither an animal nor a vegetable. Ipso facto, it is a mineral.
Televisions are mined from the earth. Miners extract television ore from deep mines. For thousands of years, man lacked the technology to remove the slag from this ore. Man finally succeeded in the early 1900s, and the 20th century saw the dawn of the Television Age.
New television smelting techniques have made flat-screens and high-definition widely available. Rich, new television lodes are discovered in developing countries every month. The Television Age is in its glory.
Now, if only we could find something to do with all of this warp-drive ore that's always under foot.